Was there ever a writer that became one instantly? I am hoping not. While that may sound cruel and selfish, I would like to think I am not alone in my desperate attempt to become a writer, even a part time writer for now.
I know how I want to write, I know why I want to write. I even know what I want to write. What I don't really know is how to get going. That will be the reason why I am up and awake now, at 03:00, forcing myself to start this blog and get some words out there.
I am inviting, (or more begging) other part time writers out there to motivate me, challenge me, advise me, guide me, even shout at me and threaten me to allow my creative juices to start flowing.
I do find the late hour enchanting. The quiet fills my head with thoughts, memories, dreams. I wonder if there is any significance in the fact that tonight of all nights is the one that I finally start to write down words and open my blog. Tonight, twenty years ago I was also awake - awaiting the birth of my daughter. I clearly remember that feeling of anticipation, waiting for this little miracle to enter my life. At the time I didn't know whether it would be a boy or girl, during the night my thoughts wandered from what will it be, to who will the baby look after, what personality traits would she have, and the most difficult question of all, will I be a good mother.
I can almost still smell that night twenty years ago, the memories are so clear. What I could not comprehend that night was how much I would love her. I thought I was prepared for loving her to the full, but nothing can prepare a expecting parent for the magnitude of love once you hold your baby in your arms. Earlier tonight I stared at a recent picture of my daughter, and once again my heart overflowed with love. In twenty short, short years, she has changed from a tiny pink bundle into a beautiful young woman. I am so blessed!
And I am thinking now - on that night I was also scared and fearful, full of doubt about my capabilities. Yet if I look back now I didn't do too bad. I made it over highs and lows, tears and laughter. If I could do that, surely I can do this? Surely I can write and actually publish a short story, a traveling anecdote, share an experience?
And I decide - I will do it1
